signal » saint.wydassia

Love languages.

ande — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 18:27:10 +0000

I don’t usually do memes — I find them irritating and meaningless, for the most part. If I do them, it’s because I’m bored. But I like this one for more than the procrastination. I include it here in honour of Saint Wydassia. http://www.greaterquest.com/LoveLanguages.asp
The results are pretty polarized and a little embarrassing, in their way. *frowns* There you go, anyway. Can anyone spot the sensory disorder? The disability? It’s not that I’m opposed to touch. I’m opposed to PAIN. Any positives from touch are obliterated by pain. And I always need help. I hate needing help. I can’t change it, and I hate it.

Score	Love Language
6	Words of Affirmation
5	Quality Time
7	Receiving of Gifts
11	Acts of Service
1	Physical Touch


How to interpret your Profile Score:

Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love language. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of your primary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important to you. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you. The highest possible score for any language is 12.

Ihaytchual, God of Indigent Plot Bunnies and Their Enablers

ande — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:32:16 +0000

This is one of my new deities, it seems: Ihaytchual, God of Indigent Plot Bunnies and Their Enablers. If you sound out his name, you’ll understand it. I just finished and sent off a novel gifted to me from above (or below) by Ihaytchual.

Ihaytchual is a selectively hermaphroditic God, but his primary form is that of a smug bastard who isn’t the one who has to write this shit. He makes his divine appearances right when you have your fucking schedule for the year in order. It is his great purpose to fuck over your carefully laid plans (you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men, only the mice don’t really get screwed, they just put that in there so that men wouldn’t feel quite so picked on because they could always say: Yeah, but the Mice are fucked, too!) with inspirations that you can’t ignore. Worse, he works his mysterious ways through his pawns, your dearest friends, so that you cannot tell him to fuck off. He mocks you from behind their innocent and enthusiastic visages.

You can’t sacrifice anything to Ihaytchual other than your social life and fifteen pounds you’ll gain pounding out a novel and cramming soothing Pringles down your maw in a desperate attempt to get it done so you can get back on track. Oh, some people like to praise the bastard, but honestly, I would have had plenty of damn inspiration without his help. Now I’m perpetually behind (the patron saint of being perpetually behind is Wydassia, an immensely fat and beautiful virgin who was unsullied due to her inability to get around to making a decision; Wydassia failed to show up to a fertility ritual to bless the fields, because she had written a novel instead of doing the laundry and had nothing to wear, and thusly all the crops died. Summarily, she was burned at the stake for her sins. She was canonized in part because she burned with such vigor that she took her entire town with her — falling behind will burn you every time) and lighting beef tallow candles to Wydassia in a desperate attempt to get her to go sit on someone else’s schedule.

It’s 9:30am and I can feel Wydassia sitting on me while Ihaytchual cackles gleefully. If they don’t watch it, I’m going to call an exorcist, or at least a professional organizer. Lo, I am blessed with the presence of saints and the fond attentions of a God. It’s not as shiny as they make it sound.