1. I am not reading your writing.
1a. This has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
1b. If you ask me directly to read something, tell me what you want from my review, give me context, and I have time, I may read your writing. If it is a novel, I probably won’t.
1c. If you get published, I may read your writing to see what got you published. I probably won’t, though.
1d. I do not expect you to read my writing. Wanting, wishing, and expecting are not at all the same.
2. I will happily support you as a writer, when you need help pimping your work or getting reviewed or writing a cover letter or even just coming over and chatting on your blog to make it look like you have fans and colleagues.
3. I write for publication. If you think this makes me a traitor to my muse or some kind of whore, you may kindly take a hike.
4. I hate it when you blow me off with ‘oh, your writing is always good’ when I talk about wanting to improve, or ask for your thoughts on things. This is an art, I practice it, and I like making it better. It’s not a sin. I don’t mind if you don’t want to talk about it, though.
5. I hate it when you go on about how you wish you could have my wordcount; I understand, and you could have it if you did nothing else for eight hours a day like me and were housebound with PTSD. I wish I could take the bus. Also, reflect on all the years I didn’t even have use of my hands and couldn’t tell the difference between the iron and the milk jug, and so on… I earned every six-figure month I can scrounge up. I’m proud of my progress but I don’t want you to feel bad because of it.
6. My characters may have the names of your characters. We share a common tongue, and I use names from other cultures as well. This happens. Do not point it out unless you are amused and wish to share the funny. Your cognitive dissonance is not my problem. I have the same problem in turn; you will never hear about it from me.
7. This is what I do. This is what I’m good at. This is all I have right now. I don’t think I’m a better writer than you, or a better person than you. I have no investment in either. I want you to be a good writer. I want you to be a happy writer. I don’t have time to help you or teach you; I’m all worn out on that count. If reading my writing on writing helps you, I’m thrilled. If you feel worse than me or something, I’m genuinely sorry. That sucks hardcore. I feel that way a lot about a lot of writers.
8. I know nothing. There’s so much to know about writing and I know so little about it, that it amounts to nothing. Please file my words of wisdom accordingly.
9. I have to go write now.
3 responses so far ↓
1 marn // Mar 23, 2008 at 5:42 pm
well said. #4 especially rings a resonant note with me. WRT #1d, I do feel bad when you post stuff and I am so busy I don’t read it though, because I like your stuff in general and even if I didn’t I’d feel particularly bad for all the times you’ve given me writing help and I didn’t offer any feedback.
2 ande // Mar 23, 2008 at 5:51 pm
@marn I’m really not bothered when people don’t read my stuff anymore… I found it was wasting my time. *laughs* And, honestly, I want to be my own best critic and editor. I have really worked on that this year. Learning to operate in a void is important, even if it’s hard and lonely. I don’t work well in one, but I /can/. I guess that’s what matters.
I don’t have to, though, because I have one special person in particular who’s always there for me that way, and I am so spoiled by it. I don’t think it’s right for a writer to work in a void, and I don’t expect anyone to (though I think it’s good to learn how), but I do think that wanting praise is a pitfall. Wanting help improving is something else.
3 marn // Mar 24, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Well, fair enough, and it’s good to be autonomous from needing other people’s praise. But please don’t think I don’t want to beta your stuff just because sometimes I fail to when I can.
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